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A Guide to Strap-ons
Strap-On’s are for anyone – simply let your imagination run wild. Different harnesses offer different levels of comfort, support and attachments – Here is a guide split into two sections, it is free general information.
See our Beginners Section below for Help on getting started once you have one.
See our FAQ for help on choosing the right one for you – but most of all – ENJOY!
FAQ:
What Is a Strap-On?
A strap-on is a usually a combination of a harness and a dildo, although most are sold separately to allow for greater choice of combinations ( although the DP harness does come with 1 dildo to start you off ) . The harness is usually worn around the waist or hips.
Strap-on-s are often associated with Girl-Girl play in the vanilla world, However, they are certainly a hit with Girl-Boy ( for example see the world famous Feeldoe ), Boy-Boy ( Especially loved is the Tantus severin) and even Boy – Girl ( especially the Double Penetration Harness set) – so there is every reason to give one a try…
Is a Strap on for Anal or Vaginal Intercourse?
Strap ons can be for either Vaginal or Anal Intercourse. With some harnesses you will need to refer to the manufacturers guidelines as some harnesses have a fixed position for the dildo and therefore are not suitable for both anal and vaginal intercourse. Here at Wycked, our harnesses are suitable for both and are adjustable to ensure fit either position, and indeed the Double Penetration Harness is designed to offer both functions at the same time!.
What is the Harness for?
The difference between using a hand held dildo / vibrator and using a strap-on with harness is huge.
The two are not comparable and offer quite different sensations. There is a difference between the Strap-on and regular hand held dildo’s – see more information on choosing your Strap on Dildo below.
The benefits of a Strap on are many and vary from medical benefits to pure passion – see examples below;
• Strap-ons free your hands, allowing them to be used to touch in all sorts of other sensual ways.
• Strap-ons allow Women to take the strain - Women can take control of the play and be empowered by the thrusting action, a role normally reserved for men.
• Strap-ons allow for size variation – the man can select a size smaller or larger than his own, or indeed his Mistress or Master can select a size for them, for example in the Feeldoe range you can train using the strap-on moving from small, through medium to large as your play progresses.
• Strap-ons can help compensate for erection problems. If a man has erectile dysfunction, a strap-on can provide a mutually satisfying way for the couple to experience penile-vaginal intercourse.
• Strap-ons allow for simulated Oral sex – whether this is for a female playing at the male role, perhaps subjugating her male / female partner, or for a man who is required to feel the vibrations and sensations and see what is happening but it is not actually happening to his penis – this is deliciously frustrating I have been reliably informed
• Strap-ons allow you to use your hips and therefore have greater leverage, providing for a more intense experience
• Strap-ons allow men to play at having two erections simultaneously.
• Strap-ons allow for double penetration, both vaginal and anal at the same time without third parties, and without the need to multitask with your hands .
• Strap ons allow you to glam it up – Dress to impress, and avoiding the toxicity of funky coloured paint – where else can you enjoy thrusting and sucking something Purple, Blue, Gold etc…why not match it to your outfit or mood .
• Strap-ons allow you to use your hips and therefore have greater leverage, providing for a more intense experience.
• Getting the right harness for a strap on is important, especially for women who are traditionally not used to that form of thrusting and a good harness will support your movements and help remove any unnecessary strain from your back.
As a Man – if I receive anal intercourse, am I gay?: - NO.
Anal Sex does NOT make you gay.
Women who enjoy wearing a strap on are not all secretly harbouring desires to be a man.
Men who receive intercourse via strap on are not all gay – some are and enjoy it very much as part of fantastic sex, but it does not define their sexuality.
Why do men enjoy it if they are not gay – here’s the Science bit…..The Prostrate gland, used by medical professional to “Milk” straight men to produce Semen for medical analysis is close to the lining of the Rectum ( between the Penis and the Anus) The process is simple, they insert two fingers in the rectum and massage the prostate until the desired effect – this is seen as LESS personal than giving the patient a hand job
It is perfectly natural for Men to enjoy receiving Anal intercourse, whether you are gay, straight, Bi or anything else.
It is perfectly normal for women to wear a strap-on ( depictions of similar devices have been traced back to the Greeks – they certainly knew how to have a good time )
Enjoy what brings you pleasure and enjoy who you are.
Can only submissive people be penetrated with a Strap on?
Not sure where this myth started, but I am sure that anyone who has been in the Scene for more than five minutes will tell you that sexual position does not a submissive make .
Strap-on play is not enforced by the person with the harness. As will all things, be safe, sane and consensual.
That is not to say that a strap on cannot be a great tool in role play, however, as with all great tools, the resulting artistry is defined by the expert who wields it.
Top, Bottom or regular vanilla – Strap-on sex can be for anyone.
Strap-on Harnesses’ – What are they and how to choose one:
Harnesses usually come in two main types: thong style and jock style. See below for information on each.
1.How it fits:
Thong style harnesses - one strap circles the waist or hips and the other strap connects to the bottom of the front piece and then runs between the your legs, up through the cheeks (like a thong), then attaching to the waist/hip strap in back.
Jock style harnesses - one strap encircles the waist or hips and attaches to the front piece. Two other straps then attach to the bottom or in some cases the sides of the front piece and then circle each of the your thighs, attaching to the waist/hip strap in back.
2. How to choose:
• The Look –
it is a matter of taste, some like thong, some like the Jock style – it’s up to you. If The look is not that important – see the other things to bean in mind below;
• Putting it on –
Thong harnesses normally have less straps than jock-style harnesses, which means fewer strap adjustments and therefore easier to slip in and out of ( especially if it is a quickie ). However, it is important to note that the extra strap of the jock-style harness provides extra support for the dildo, so if you are new to this or have chosen a fairly hefty and weighty dildo – this might be the better option for you..
• Rubbing –
On thongs, the strap that runs between the wearer's legs provides genital and anal stimulation. In fact, some women enjoy wearing thong-style harnesses under their clothing without the dildo because of the discreet clitoral stimulation these harnesses can provide, as well as the naughty knowledge of what they have on under the clothes….
• Access to the wearer –
The strap that runs between the legs on the thong-style makes the anus, clitoris, vulva and vagina somewhat less accessible. With the jock-style, the wearer's anus and genitals are left exposed, therefore if your play involved a lot of interaction with these areas whilst the harness is on – the Jock style may be better for you..
• Material –
You might want to consider which material the harness straps are made of. It is not simply a matter of the feel of the fabric, but also the practicality. Devine leather is superb – soft, luxurious, wonderful on the skin, and the natural leather aroma can be amazing, however the Nylon can be popped into a washing machine, as long as you remove any non-nylon parts, and PVC can be wiped off with a damp cloth. If it is just for you and your loved one this need not be an issue, however for larger groups of play you may wish to consider something that can be more easily disinfected like nylon / pvc.
Strap-on Dildo / Dong / Vibrator (s) – What are they and how to choose one:
You can choose from dildo’s, Dongs and vibrators to fit harnesses and suit your pleasure – in the following text all of these will simply referred to as Dildo (s) for the sake of convenience.
• What is different between a regular dildo and a strap on? –
A strap-on dildo should have a flared, or moulded base that’s flat on the bottom – this is designed to help the dildo fit snugly in the front piece and to stop it slipping out, as well as providing a comfortable surface for the wearer to thrust against.
• What shape are they?
Some strap-on dildos stick straight out. Others curve. Others Twist – the choice is yours, however some people prefer the curved models (like the Feeldoe) as they can provide more variety. Depending how they are positioned in the front piece, they can curve up, down or to the side. Each position provides different erotic stimulation.
• How hard should they be?
Dildo’s can be soft and wobbly or firm or even rock( quite literally – see our granite range here…) hard. Beginners should start with a firm dildo – there is less chance of it bending on the way in, or poking your partner in the wrong place when over enthusiastic.
• What Size should they be?
Size is really dependant upon you and your partner. There are a number of size options available, as long as you pick one that is not too small or too big for your harness. The best thing to do is to start with the Dildo’s recommended for the harness and then as you get more experienced, add more dildos to your collection to suit your mood. You can also train using a strap on.
• Do I use lube?
It is always a good idea to use lube, especially if you are new to this, or you are trying a new size or style of Strap-on dildo. It is not a must have, but definitely a nice to have. Remember, as with all dildo’s it is important that you use the correct lube based on what your toy is made of – for example use water based lube’s only on silicone toys – as silicone lubes will adversely react with the silicone of the toy..
Beginners Guide:
The Harness – Basics:
What is it supposed to look like?
Harnesses can be confusing when they first arrive. The harness has a triangular or rectangular front piece that sits over a woman's vulva or the base of a man's penis, and the front piece has a special opening or O-ring through which you can slip a special dildo with a flared, flat-bottom or moulded base. This opening should be aligned with where the penis would normally protrude, or in the case of men align the extra penis above or below the natural one ( or if natural penis is strapped for submission, align harness just above the base of the penis with the penis strapped down)
How to attach / put on the harness
Harness usually come in two main types: thong style and jock style. See below for information on each.
1.How it fits:
Thong style harnesses - one strap circles the waist or hips and the other strap connects to the bottom of the front piece and then runs between the your legs, up through the cheeks (like a thong), then attaching to the waist/hip strap in back.
Jock style harnesses - one strap encircles the waist or hips and attaches to the front piece. Two other straps then attach to the bottom or in some cases the sides of the front piece and then circle each of the your thighs, attaching to the waist/hip strap in back.
2. How to put it on:
To put on a harness, simply slip the dildo into the O-ring, step into the harness and adjust the straps for a comfortable but snug fit. If, after adjusting, there’s a lot of excess strap, you can always trim it down with scissors – but not too short, or it will make it tricky to get on next time . With nylon straps, melt the ends carefully with a lighter to prevent fraying.
Take Your Time
Strap-ons, especially the harness, can be a bit daunting when you first try it on.
Allow yourself time to adjust to the feel of it, the look, the weight, how it bobs about ( you are allowed to smile ).
• Make sure the Dildo / Dong / vibrator is at the right angle for you, that all the straps are comfortably tight ( try swishing it about like a light sabre to make sure nothing pops out, or just for the hell of it)
Don’t just jump on your partner either – let them feel the dildo, let them get into the right position, caress them – make them feel at ease also and lube it up – both your dildo and the area to be played with!.
• Practice makes perfect – no one is expecting you to be a genius with this the first few times – and don’t expect too much from yourself.
Insert slowly, having warmed the area up first, and take your time, allow yourself to get used to the mechanics of the thing, and your partner to the feeling. Doggy style is the best for beginners – when you are more experienced and more confident you can experiment with any number of wonderful positions.
• You may need pillows to adjust your height or the height of your partner as you may be attempting intercourse from a completely new angle and you would be surprised what a height difference there can be when you are the one on the giving end of doggy style !
• Speed is not always the best way – depth can be just as divine and will allow you to hold your partner close to you for you both to enjoy the sensations. Don’t forget your hand are free so use them well.
If in doubt – stop, take a break – caress one another, reassess and begin again. It really is worth getting the hang of it properly, because when you have you will be keeping your strap ons close at hand!
• Be sure to be safe and always clean your dildo’s responsibly. It is a good idea to clean the dildo after Anal penetration and before any other activity with it, so you might want to keep some sterilizing wipes at hand.
• Don’t forget your partner: – the recipient – men can swap between the dildo and their natural gift ( if they are not already going for double penetration delights), women can use fingers or other toys, mix it up and enjoy. – the provider – play with the harness wearer, you can easily reach the clitoris so don’t forget it, and testicles should be within reach so show him some appreciation for his efforts.
Hoping you enjoy every moment of your new Strap-on, The Wicked Wench
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